1st shift and 1st paycheque :) and a quote " I don't care what you know, I just know that you care !"

Just came from my last night shift...now I can relax for 5 days. I had my shower and I feel like million bucks. Now I can really relate to my pts who say that after their 1st shower in a few days. So... I had my 1st four shifts. What can I say? On my first day we (me and my nurse) had a patient who got sick on us with pulmonary edema. 2nd shift we had a wonderful patient but with Ventricular Tachycardia (VTs). So she had to be constantly monitored. This pt was so nice and funny! I loved her! She kept saying "you're a smart cookey :)" because I only live in Canada for 7 years and I got my education and English is great as she said.She kept telling my story everybody in her family. She also said that I'm a wonderful nurse. I said to her that I still have so much to learn. and she said " I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU KNOW, I JUST KNOW THAT YOU CARE";and her sister said "oh that's a great quote". So we all wrote it down :).
I was very tired and stressed on my 1st day...the result was the excruciating migraine throughout the shift. A glass of wine helped at a dinner at a very nice restaurant in the evening. I'm still questioning myself everyday if that's what I need or I want. I can't answer, but I'm not happy right now...I find I'm more concerned about not missing something or being on time with meds and other procedures than about learning and being excited about my profession. Maybe it's because I'm a new grad. We'll see...I think it'll get better. It's my 1st week for God's sake (I always have to remind myself about that)!
However, THE BEST THING is my 1st PAY CHEQUE!!! Yeeeeeeeeeeey! It's $1600.00 The biggest pay check in my life!!! Now I have to decide how to celebrate it. I will definitely buy a hospital lottery ticket (it's about $100), that was my wish with my 1st paycheck! Who knows maybe I'll get the lucky one :)!!! Wish me luck!!!

Everyday together is a gift!

It's 1215am. We just came home from movie theater. We watched Love Happens. It's a comedy, but with a lot of sad moments about deaths of the loved ones, especially unexpected ones such as spouse or a child. During the movie we kept holding each other hand and I was thinking "Thank you God for giving us TODAY together" I just was sooo thankful to have him near. I do feel that we are the whole and we can't exist apart. It's not easy to let go the loved one. So... everyday together is a gift! I want to remember that every moment when we argue about little things or offend each other for nothing. Every moment together is a real gift. We have to appreciate it.
I also received a message today from my mom. She said that she had a surgery done and everything is fine. I was so sad and happy. I called my mom and when I heard her voice I knew she was fine and again this feeling of gratitude filled every cell of my body. Nothing matters that much in our lives as the ones we love dearly.

I started my job at HI!

I have become a professional and now I've started my 1st job as RN at the Heart Institute. I've made my first step on my career ladder!!! I'm doing my orientation on the floor and actually, I'm excited. I feel pretty confident. Today we went down to the surgery and saw two amazing procedure ACD(arterial septal defect) procedure and angiogram. It was very cool, except that I almost fainted there ... it's " the red day of the month" that's why...he he. I feel very fulfilled with my decision to start at HI and I think I'll be fine and I'll enjoy. However, I decided that I'll be proactive at the institution in such things as research, writing articles and participating in nursing conferences ( there are lots of such activities going on at the civic...so the doors are open!) . This might help to direct me and help me search for maybe a research position or smthng like that. Anyway, I gotta go to bed ...to dream about my future ... or better not because then I'll be up half of the night imagining myself in different positions at Public Health or Health Canada or University or HI research team..... see? I already started :)
Stop stop stop let's take a step at a time!!!