Will i win? I sure can! In my imagination at least!

We were watching the movie tonight "What happens in Vegas". After, while I was having a shower, I was thinking about the moment in the movie where at the very end she quit her job and gave all the money to her "husband", but then he found her and she said to him, "I quit my job and I don't know what I'm going to do". Then he reminded her that they have 3 mil. dollars. Sooooo I was showering and talking to myself...hmmm... I wonder if anybody else does it? Or is it only me? G is almost used to it, my talking to myself. I especially love doing it in the shower...so much that I sometimes forget if I actually washed myself or and not just stood there under warm water preoccupied with millions of thoughts and plans running through my head. Anyway, back to my talking to myself. I thought that I could do the same thing just quit and then decide what to do with my life...then I said, "Well, she has millions and she'll be fine...whereas me... Then I imagined and remembered that I bought that $100.00 precious lottery ticket from CHEO where the main prize is a beautiful house, a car and money!!! Oh my face was sooooo happy and smiley! I just saw myself winning it and feeling free to make a choice that I want and not being dependent on having to earn money. The draw is on Dec 22 and there will be another one in Jan. The picture of the house is on my fridge! I keep my hopes alive!!! What if that happens to ME? I can definitely see it in my imagination, in my shower...ha ha ha!!!

Going through rough time...BUT I HOPE for the best!

First of all. I didn't get a job at Public health for vaccination clinic because it's not busy anymore and they start terminating people. I'm ok with that.
Then we had an amazing news with my hubby...baby. I don't want to write all the details, but I discovered that I\m pregnant fairly early, the end of 2nd week. It's now 3 weeks. BUT the night before yesterday, I was at work, doing my night shift, from 0730pm. At around 11 i went BR and saw that I was bleeding. I still am, moderately. We don't know anything yet because nobody called yet about my blood results and my ultrasound is tmrow morning. I\m ready for any news, but I hope for the best!
It's 11th of Dec. I had u/s today and it showed that there's no pregnancy...very sad. I had hard time yesterday night, but G was the best friend to me yesterday, not that he is not, but yesterday he helped me so much! That's why today I was stronger and was able to talk to my parents. Every time I was thinking about my parents and Gaiana with her kids, I was balling...it was so hard. I received pictures from Gaiana the night I had bleeding...all these days I kept the pictures near by to look at them and get the support i needed. They helped me so much!!!